History will remember this 42nd edition of What We’re Not Playing as a breakthrough in human civilization’s efforts to understand why some games go ignored by gamers.

We used to try to help this field of study by presenting weekly (whiny) IM chats about what games we were shunning. We now offer a simpler presentation.

What follows are the games we’re not playing this week and why. The comments section below is where you can tell us just how out of our minds we are.

Stephen’s Not Playing…
Wii cooking game “Order Up!”

Why he’s neglecting the hard work of the game’s creators: I believe this is the first game to come packaged with a chef hat. That alone did not compel me to try this out on my Wii. But I did hear on the 1UpYours podcast that this game is the next evolution of “Cooking Mama,” or something like that. So I’m going to try it someday. Just not in this “Siren“-obsessed week.

Tracey’s Not Playing…
Wii sports games “Summer Athletics: The Ultimate Challenge,” “Little League World Series 2008,” “King of Clubs”

Why she’s neglecting the hard work of the game’s creators: With New York’s temperature in the high ’80s, I don’t think I’ll want to sit in my apartment swinging my arms like a maniac and drowning in my own sweat. Maybe in the dead of winter I’ll boot these up when I’m nostalgic for the blazing summer sun.

Patrick’s Not Playing…
“Summer Athletics” for Wii

Why he’s neglecting the hard work of the game’s creators: Outside of the fact that there was very few games to even decide on passing on this week, I’ve never been fond of Olympic games. Not since they were called “Track & Field” and made use of the Power Pad, anyway. Yes, “Summer Athletics” is for the Wii, but it’s also from Conspiracy Entertainment. On its face, that doesn’t inspire much confidence — unless a reader can prove me wrong?

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What are you not playing this week? And why?

After a light post-E3 release week, Patrick and I still found the cream of the crop to avoid in this week’s “What We’re NOT Playing.”

In both deciding on “Final Fantasy IV” on DS, we somehow get to talking about “Final Fantasy XII” and MMOs:

PatrickKlepek: My issues with “Final Fantasy XII” stemmed from the combat. At times, I loved it. Other times, I hated it. Maybe that’s why I’ve never played an MMO.
PatrickKlepek: I played maybe a months worth of “EverQuest II” because 1UP.com contracted me to. I swiftly gave it up after they pulled the plug on their MMO columns. All I did was fight crabs.
TraceyJohn: Well is it also the grind that turns you off? Or other people? Because you do play RPGs
PatrickKlepek: Maybe it was the real-time nature of it it, combined with the fact that it wasn’t really real-time, you know? It was still turn-based. 12 hours or so wasn’t enough to figure it out.
PatrickKlepek: I felt like I was playing an action RPG with the constraints of a turn-based RPG.

See what else we chat about and which game on XBLA I’ll actually be playing…

Read more…

Of course they’ll be plenty of games we’ll be playing and not playing at E3 next week, but it’s not next week yet.

Today in “What We’re NOT Playing,” Jason Cipriano and I run down our list of pre-E3 week games we’re going to ignore, even though we have the time.

Lately, we’ve been obsessed with cats. Even though “Purr Pals” features plenty of them, that’s not the kind of cat game we’re looking for:

JasonCipriano: Make the cat the star. It’s been quite some time since there has been a great cat staring in an action platformer. It’s about time someone made a game like that.
JasonCipriano: Bubsy was essentially a Sonic rip off, but it was the last “good” cat platformer.
JasonCipriano: Feel free to rip off “Super Mario Bros.” It’s just that “Bubsy” came out 15 years ago.
JasonCipriano: Give the kitty a new game.
TraceyJohn: Ha. So you hear that game developers? Give us a new platformer starring a cat. Cip will be first in line.

Read on to learn what other games we’re skipping, what games we’ll actually be playing instead, and why we’re worried about “Carnival Games“…

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It’s almost a three-day weekend here at MTV Multiplayer, a much needed break before this year’s Electronic Entertainment Expo kicks off.

But we can’t end short week without talking about what games we’re not playing this week.

Once again, Jason Cipriano and myself find ourselves agreeing on the game we won’t be playing this week — “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith.” Both of us seem to have invested into the “Rock Band” experience and don’t find the single-instrument games appealing anymore.

JasonCipriano: At least we have “Rock Band” and “Guitar Hero” … 5 years ago the closest thing to living the rockstar dream was that Journey game for the Atari 2600
JasonCipriano: Ya gotta take the good with the bad.
JasonCipriano: Really that’s just the facts of life.
PatrickKlepek: There was a “Journey” game?
JasonCipriano: Oh man … really.
JasonCipriano: You’re kidding right.
JasonCipriano: Please tell me you’re kidding.
JasonCipriano: I thought the intern was the only one I had to educate about classic games around here….
PatrickKlepek: I barely remember the Atari 2600 I owned.
PatrickKlepek: It’s even possible I didn’t own one. It was too long ago.
PatrickKlepek: I just remember “Pong.”

Read on to find out why we won’t be rocking out to “Dream On” anytime soon.

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In this week’s “What We’re NOT Playing,” both Jason Cipriano and I give “Guitar Hero: On Tour” the cold shoulder for our own respective reasons.

Me, I just think I’ll look silly (moreso than I usually do), but Cipriano, he’s got a real physical problem — he’s got giant, man hands:

JasonCipriano: Putting my entire hand in front of the screen blocks too much
TraceyJohn: Your hand is too fat?
JasonCipriano: Not fat … large
TraceyJohn: That’s what I meant, of course.
JasonCipriano: Please … your entire hand is about the size of my palm
JasonCipriano: It’s a problem I run into a lot with the DS.

So fellow DS players, do you have problems with too-big hands for the DS? Read on to see what versions of “Alone in the Dark” we’ll play (or not play), among other titles we’re snubbing…

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The games industry has wisely chosen to avoid releasing anything too substantial in the week following “Metal Gear Solid 4.” You know it’s an off week when you’re struggling to pick what you’re not playing from a list completely made up of things you’ll likely never play.

But I digress. In this week’s edition of “WWNP,” Jason Cipriano and I declare that “Secret Agent Clank,” “Sea Life Safari” and “Deadliest Catch: Alaskian Waters” won’t be taking up our playtime this week.

PatrickKlepek: You want a stealth “Ratchet” game?
JasonCipriano: He’s a pretty great character.
JasonCipriano: But, I’m not a huge fan of stealth games.
JasonCipriano: But, I haven’t played it at all.
JasonCipriano: It might work for the PSP.
PatrickKlepek: Why would stealth be inherently better on PSP?
JasonCipriano: Backed myself into a corner again … Traditionally they haven’t, (like that one “Splinter Cell” game that was released) but maybe as a tiny robot it might work better.
JasonCipriano: I’m fairly certain I’m defending the game because I like the character so much.
PatrickKlepek: Maybe you should speak to a psychologist. Clank isn’t real, you know.
JasonCipriano: I think I wish he was

To find out why Jason might be crazy, keep reading.

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Even though we can’t talk about “Metal Gear Solid 4″ yet, it wouldn’t matter for this week’s What We’re NOT Playing; we all plan on playing Snake’s new adventure.

Unfortunately, we can’t say the same for “Don King Presents: Prizefighter” and “Frogger 2.” Jason Cipriano claims he’ll get around to trying “Prizefighter” because he’s such a “Fight Night” fan, but we’ll see about that one.

JasonCipriano: I’ll be shutting out “Frogger 2″ this week.
PatrickKlepek: Fear of traffic?
JasonCipriano: I do hate being in cars, but no. Fear of another bad sequel.
JasonCipriano: The original “Frogger” was a classic.
JasonCipriano: Everything else that came after that was really just … well… bad.
PatrickKlepek: Does this one have a story?
PatrickKlepek: Please say no.
JasonCipriano: I can’t really find any info on the game.
JasonCipriano: WAIT.
JasonCipriano: Found a screenshot.
JasonCipriano: And it totally looks like it does.
PatrickKlepek: Kill me now.

Read on to find out why I’m passing on “Prizefighter” because of Electronic Arts.

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With Stephen Totilo on vacation, there’s been more work and less play. But that segues perfectly into this week’s edition of What We’re NOT Playing.

Strangely, Jason Cipriano and myself both decided to ignore licensed games this week. While he passes on “The Bourne Conspiracy,” sans an appearance by Matt Damon, I won’t be spending my free time with “LEGO Indiana Jones.”

PatrickKlepek: So stabbing someone with a Bic pen isn’t an appealing prospect for you, I gather.
JasonCipriano: I actually prefer Pilot.
JasonCipriano: I’ve seen the first two movies, and just haven’t gotten around to the third yet.
PatrickKlepek: See, I haven’t seen any of them. I wonder if it matters.
PatrickKlepek: Or if I’m in a better position than you, having no expectations.
JasonCipriano: Really?
JasonCipriano: I think with this one, since they seem to be so closely related, it might be good to have a frame of reference.
JasonCipriano: Plus, they aren’t that bad.
PatrickKlepek: No, I want to see them. They’re on my Netflix. They just haven’t come up yet.
JasonCipriano: Have we digressed into WWNW (What We’re Not Watching)?

Do we end up digressing into more movie talk? Keep reading!

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It’s a slow week for game releases. So slow, in fact, that one of our picks for a game we’re not playing is actually a remix of “Lost Planet.” The option to play as an akrid in multiplayer isn’t enough for Jason Cipriano or myself, apparently.

We also found common ground on “Enemy Territory: Quake Wars,” and Jason tries to convince me for the second or third time that I should give “Call of Duty 4″ multiplayer a fair shake. I may take him up on it this time.

JasonCipriano: Aside from the really obvious choices this week, I will be passing on “Lost Planet Extreme: Colonies”
JasonCipriano: Does that count?
PatrickKlepek: Well, did you play the original?
JasonCipriano: I did not, and that’s basically the reason.
JasonCipriano: The first one was paced way too slow for my enjoyment
JasonCipriano: Slushing through the snow at a snails pace causes me to be bored and frustrated, and I lose interest really quick when something like that happens
PatrickKlepek: So you’re not interested as playing as a giant alien akrid in multiplayer.
JasonCipriano: Not at all.

Discover more of our reasons for passing by reading on.

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2008 has been hyped as the year of the PlayStation 3, but one of the year’s biggest PS3 exclusives, “Haze”, won’t be getting much love from Stephen Totilo or myself.

In an otherwise slow week, I ponder whether “SingStar” has enough to pull me away from “Rock Band” and we debate why I’m obsessed with finishing games I start — even if I don’t like them.

PatrickKlepek: “The World Ends With You” is next on my handheld list. I’m on a Square Enix streak lately, having finished “Kingdom Hearts 2,” “Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles,” and “Crisis Core” in the last few months.
PatrickKlepek: Of course, two of those I finished out of an obsessive tick, rather than because I wanted to.
StephenTotilo: I was going to say, do you not regret finishing any of the three?
PatrickKlepek: I regret wasting my time with them. I don’t regret finishing them. I have this thing about not finishing games I’ve started. It’s the same thing with movies, games, books.
StephenTotilo: So do I, but I also have this thing with realizing how 25 hours of my life were spent doing repetitive tasks that the makers of “Portal,” “God of War” and “Call of Duty 4″ didn’t seem to think I had to do
StephenTotilo: Rare is the game that benefits from 10 or more hours of single-player campaign

Read on to find out why “Haze” isn’t on our to-do list.

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If you’re not busy at pre-E3 festivities, you’re probably playing a lot of WiiWare.

Which means some other games are getting the shaft — even some Wii games. While I’m thinking about trying “We Ski” (whose cover art I loved by the way), my colleague Jason Cipriano doesn’t even want to go down that slippery slope (sorry):

JasonCipriano: I’m too big a fan of “SSX” (prior to the last two releases) to offer up my downhill love anywhere else
TraceyJohn: there are racing modes in “WeSki”
JasonCipriano: yeah, there are
JasonCipriano: But they don’t appear to be even remotely close to “SSX” and all its glory
TraceyJohn: Would you like an “SSX” with the board?
JasonCipriano: If they are making “Skate” with the board, “SSX” seems like a natural next step.
JasonCipriano: I’d have to play it first, but I fear it could very easily suffer from the same problem as the Wheel
JasonCipriano: where it doesn’t offer the same level of precision that I’m used to.
JasonCipriano: So we’ve digressed to the point where we are talking about not playing games that may or may not exist.

Read on to see what else will get ignored this week with all the WiiWare madness… Read more…

It’s only been a week since “Grand Theft Auto IV” was released, and it is still coveting our precious gaming minutes.

Fortunately, it was a slim release week, and Patrick and I were left to debate the best use of the Wii’s motion controls, SRPGs and the existence of The Candyman. (Don’t worry, we don’t think he exists.)

Needless to say, there were a couple of standout games that we probably would have passed on had we not still had so much of Liberty City to explore.

PatrickKlepek: You’re completely selling the game short. It has an aesthetic that appeals to kids, but the gameplay is anything but. And to say you “get it” from a tutorial is just ignorance! There are a great many modes to “Boom Blox,” much more than just Jenga.
PatrickKlepek: Nor have you played the game’s true highlight: multiplayer.
JasonCipriano: I didn’t even do the Jenga one… I get that too … It’s Jenga … just virtual, and better than Atari made it.
PatrickKlepek: My apartment’s intercom is busted, so my copy of “Boom Blox” may not show up this week. It’s the one thing that would pull me away from “GTA.”
JasonCipriano: It just doesn’t seem deep enough for me to spend time on it.
PatrickKlepek: That’s like saying “Tetris” is just about dropping some blocks.
JasonCipriano: Boil it down…. It is.

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