Those of you who have my Gamertag did indeed see me playing Sega's maligned "Golden Axe" sequel, because I'll give anything a fair try.
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Who am I to leave a free game a publisher sends me unplayed?
Even a game fellow reporters snicker about, like last fall's "Golden Axe: Beast Rider"?
I could take Sega's remake for about an hour.
I'm a sucker for a new concept, and the idea of a "God of War" clone mixed with the ability for my heroine to ride large beasts was enticing. Oddly, though, the game doesn't show this feature off in any fun ways in its first hour. I got my scantily clad warrior woman to ride the back of a fire-breating dinosaur, but she was swiftly knocked off. An enemy took over the dino. I killed it. Back to on-foot minor-league Kratos action.
Later, I had my warrior woman riding on the back of a large bear/tiger that could turn invisible. By this time I had claimed the Golden Axe, which I could throw. But riding this beast wasn't very fun. I mostly used him to bash through gates. And I got knocked off. Again.
By this time, the game had made me uneasy.
Two reasons:
1) The "Golden Axe: Beast Rider" combat is more crude than that of "God of War" or "Devil May Cry." So, for an all-games-for-free game spoiled reporter like me, I have the luxury of being able to dismiss a game that's not at the standard of its genre leaders.
2) There's just something about a game that stars a barely-dressed warrior woman, that uses the image of a woman hung from the tree as an early signature visual, and that shows its first naked woman as a corpse on a battlefield... hmm. There's just something about that I'm not eager to endure.
So, after an hour, I decided that unless someone gives me a good reason to go back to it, I'm done with "Golden Axe: Beast Rider."
Next: Tonight I think I shall finish another video game made with little tact: "50 Cent: Blood on the Sand."