As you know from yesterday's post, I expect to be playing Xbox 360 against rapper Soulja Boy next week. And I expect he's going to want to play me in a game like "Gears of War 2" or "Halo 3."
I'm not exactly great at either of those games, so what am I to do?
I asked people who made those games for some anti-Soulja-Boy tips. The game developers of the world have come through for me! Some would say I should keep these secret, but you never know when you too might face off against the famous rapper.
So in the interest of public service...
"Gears of War 2" Lead Creator Cliff Bleszinski's Anti-Soulja-Boy Playing Tips
--> Use your smoke grenades to incapacitate him and then rush in with a chainsaw finish.
--> The one two punch of melee plus shotgun is always a good thing.
--> When in doubt, bring up "Braid" and how trippy it was. He's likely to start spouting and become distracted.
Hit the jump to read what Bungie told me to do if I face Soulja Boy in their game.
Bungie Writer Luke Smith's Anti-Soulja-Boy Playing "Halo 3" Tips
Know Your Foe:
In a one-on -one scenario with Soulja Boy, you’re dealing with a guy who barely pushes a 1.0 kp/d (kills per death) at level 14. Contrary to his self-professed cranking, Soulja Boy ain’t no Robocop. His primary tools of destruction are melee and AR (like a lot of Halo 3 players). Most of his gameplay is going to center on getting close to you and thwacking you with a melee.
Douse his fire in water. Super soak dat oh! Play a ranged game. Learn where the scoped weapons are and find the right place to set up a perch. Remember to crouch-walk if you want to stay off of his radar. When possible, pair your Battle Rifle with a close-quarters weapon. Grenades don’t always have to be offensive, you can throw grenades in places you’ve been or places you don’t want him to get to. Soulja Boy is probably going to chase you a lot. You should go all Ice Tea on that azz.
Know the Rules:
Frankie [O'Connor, former Bungie content manager] and I used to play a ton of 1v1 back before "Halo 3" shipped, and while it wasn’t much of a competitive match – his hands are old and his reflexes are slow – we did do a few things to a map like Guardian to even out the balance of power (i.e. give him a small chance at staying competitive) for 1v1. At his behest we turned off things like Overshield and Active Camo, which work great in team environments, but you may not want them on for this grudge match. If Soulja Boy wants the power-ups on, regardless of what map you pick (I’d suggest Cold Storage) you have to control them.
You should set the maps in advance so that you both have ample time to learn what weapons spawn where. Learning the flow between different rooms and what weapons or grenades to use (when they are available) and then where to take those weapons is going to make or break you.
Get Inside His Head:
One on one against Soulja Boy? If you can handle it, you should just play his own music really loud into the headset during your match. He’ll either get distracted by hearing his voice inside his head or you can cling to the thin hope that he’ll start dancing and rapping along, distracting him from his much more important task at hand.
If all else fails, you should go Gilbert Arenas style and get an MLG Pro to play him for you.
We believe in you Stephen.
Thanks to Bungie and Epic for the tips!