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I am the mother of a baby boy.
A virtual baby boy, that is. I recently got a chance to play a build of SouthPeak's "My Baby" for the DS. In "My Baby Boy" or "My Baby Girl," players can take care of a baby by feeding it, playing with it, bathing it and... changing its diapers.
Patrick Klepek may have been too terrified to touch virtual poop, but not me. Just watch my get my hands stylus dirty...
Bypassing the way babies are made and born (the stork, right?), I got to choose what race my baby boy was to be. I named him Cole. A pediatrician and a pediatric nurse were introduced to me and said they'd guide me along my journey of child-rearing.
The guides told me I had to nurture my newborn in three ways which were gauged by different meters in the top screen. One was Development, which filled up when I performed two actions, depending on how old the child was. Examples of tasks include Follow With Eyes (shake a rattle in front of the baby and have its eyes follow you), Smile At Caresses (pet the baby with your stylus to make it smile). Once the Development meter is filled, the baby becomes older. But before that happened, I had to learn the basics.
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First, feeding my baby. I had to rub him to make him comfortable, shake the bottle, put on a bib and then move the bottle to his mouth. Using the stylus, I had to tilt the bottle at the right angle. If I didn't tilt it high enough, Cole would start crying because he wasn't getting the milk. Tilting it too steep would drown him in milk and make him puke (I did this -- oops). Whenever I did something he liked, hearts would appear; irritating him in some way made broken hearts. I have to say, I broke a lot of hearts at first.
When I was done feeding Cole, it was back to the crib, where I continued to caress him and shake a rattle at him. I was also encouraged to speak with him in soft tones. Since I was often on the subway while playing this, I didn't want to seem like a crazy person talking to my DS; I just softly blew into the mic as if Cole was a dish in "Cooking Mama" that needed cooling (sorry, Cole). Plus, what do I say to a baby anyway? "Goo goo ga ga, you're so cute, but how am I going to afford your college tuition?" Thankfully, the gentle blowing sufficed.
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After that, Cole started to cry and I didn't know why. If you can't appease the baby, you're unable to move on in the game -- it'll just keep crying and its development will cease. The pediatric nurse finally came in and explained to me this meant something was bothering him. Cole then began to flatulate -- non-stop! To the changing room we went, and sure enough, Cole went doo doo in his diaper. I had to take off the diaper, lift his legs and wipe his bottom clean with a sponge. As soon as I opened his diaper, a stream of urine shot out from his barely visible appendage. The diaper was soaked in yellow and a dark black spot. I then sponged his bottom -- which you had to do from top to bottom or you were chided for bad hygiene -- and then put on a new diaper. Crisis averted.
There are other things you can do to the baby as well, like bathe it. When washing with the sponge, you shouldn't scrub too vigorously and let your baby's head get too close to the water or you'll receive a serious scolding from the nurse (again -- oops). You can also take photos of your baby by hitting the bumper buttons at any point in the game. You have the option to send them to Grandma, who will send you clothes in return (note: she loves any picture you send, even ones of the baby pooping or crying). Or you can sell the photos to the Shop, where you you'll get "star points" to buy more clothes.
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As for shopping, even though the game is "My Baby Boy," it seemed I was able to buy clothes typically for girls -- pink clothing adorned with hearts and flowers. Naturally I had to break gender norms by buying Cole a lavender skirt and pink shirt and hat to wear. Adorable!
Throughout the game, you are prompted to do the various things the baby needs. When you fill the Development meter, the baby gets one month older, and each month unlocks different activities. At five months, I was able to take Cole out for walk in a carriage, paying attention to things that annoyed him (he doesn't like dogs, street musicians or bees). At six months, Grandma gave him a play mat with toys that allowed him to learn different sensations.
At that point, I had to give Cole back to the publicist. After six months (two hours, 29 minutes) of raising him, I have to admit, I was a little bit attached. I would never get to see Cole reach 14 months at the end of the game. But pretty soon, I'll forget about him, and Cole will join the faded memories of my Tamagotchi and that sack of sugar from home ec class.
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