This is bad: I can’t beat the tutorial in new DS game “Bangai-O Spirits.” The game is some sort of combination 2D shooter and puzzle game, developed by the magnificent 2D shooter developer Treasure. The last handheld game I played by Treasure, “Astro Boy” on the Game Boy Advance, remains a favorite. This new game’s pedigree made “Bangai-O Spirits” a must-play for me.

But when I’m getting crushed even by a game’s tutorial, what hope do I have?

I’m also alarmed by a game whose characters also complain about the game’s tutorial:

Exhibit A: The boy getting briefed by a scientist in tutorial mission six responds to a lesson about new controls by complaining about a previous lesson: “Sounds great,” he says, “But the Boost tip wasn’t so hot. Is this really useful?”

I was thinking the same thing, Bangai-O boy. How useful is this stuff?

Exhibit B: A few missions later, the girl getting briefed by the same scientist just about throws up her hands in frustration. She receives something less than a motivational speech in reply.

Girl: That’s kinda complicated.

Scientist: It may sound intimidating but give it a try. You won’t explode if you mess up.

Boy: Sounds like a pain in the neck. Forget it. I’ll just use MIX weapons.

Scientist: Don’t be that way! It’s a prelude to later lessons. Give it a try.

See? Even the characters in the game know this tutorial is an obstacle course of obscure and arbitrary treachery. Never have I started a game feeling so out-matched. I will try to be tough, but I see doom looming. Wish me luck…

Next: I hope to finish unraveling “Braid” tonight. And then I have some trouble in paradise to cultivate.