I never start a session of using my Xbox 360 by playing a game. Instead I — what’s the nice way of putting it? — “check in” on my friends. I click on the window that shows me who’s online and I start snooping for clues. I doubt I’m the only person who does this. The only way to be sure is for me to put a post like this out there and see how people respond.

My first priority when booting the 360 is to check which of my friends from my Xbox buddy list are online, but not because I want to deal with them. Perish that thought. I am usually not looking to play a game with them or even to chat with them. I just want to see who else is spending a sunny weekend afternoon or a late work night also playing the Xbox 360. There’s always someone. Except when I game on Sunday mornings in New York. Then, it’s just me.

Yes, my Xbox friends, you are secretly my first priority, more important to me than playing the next bit of “Aces of the Galaxy.”

My next step, after seeing who else is on their online-connected 360s is to see when all of my friends last played. I can’t help myself. There’s something secretive about when and how some people find time in their lives to play video games. And the 360 helps me look into that, to find out things that I am sure are secrets in some households, precious details kept from wives, boyfriends, parents and so forth.

I am tantalized by the limited information available and can’t help but piece together my version of how you, my Xbox friends, are living your lives. On Sunday morning, for example, I noticed that one friend was online but “away.” I checked his most recent Achievements and saw he had won some from “Ninja Gaiden II” but had done so seven hours earlier. I concluded that he had been playing the game late Saturday night and had let the game idle overnight, I presumed because he hadn’t found a save point yet wanted to retain his progress. I shot him a message proposing my theory. He didn’t respond. So my new theory is that I creeped him out.

I count the days since some friends have last played. I count the hours and do mental math to adjust for time zones. I notice which under-17 friends and family have achieved “Grand Theft Auto IV” Achievements. I observe which friends haven’t touched their 360s in a month. I compare my played games to my friends’. And, again, I can’t help it: I judge. You spent your time playing that? You were gaming until when?

What compels me to do this? Is it the nosy reporter part of my personality? Perhaps. But maybe this limited yet quantifiable bit of information Microsoft provides us about our friends through Xbox Live makes busybodies of us all.

My Xbox friends, feel free to un-friend me if you must. Now you know what I’m up to.