Box art is a big deal.
That's why when a game's artwork is off for some reason, the game company offers to send you a new one.
That's also why last November Rockstar revealed the box art for "GTA IV" with this elaborate wall painting.
And after waiting and waiting for what seems like forever, "GTA IV" finally hits stores this week. Since no game is too big or too small for our shallow assessment, we continue onward with our weekly feature of judging games by their cover art. First things first...
"Grand Theft Auto IV" (Xbox 360, PS3)
What the Box Tells Us: Rockstar relies on formulas. Ever since "GTA III," all the covers for the franchise have been designed in similar fashion -- game characters, vehicles and one lucky lady grace the cover, Hollywood Squares-style. While the number of boxes and ratio of vehicles to characters is different each time, every single cover has a helicopter featured in the top left corner. What does it all mean? I have way too much time on my hands because I'm staring at box art and still waiting for the game to come in the mail. Gimme.
Love It or Leave It: Maybe I'd love it if I could see it up close. *cough cough*
"Mario Kart Wii" (Wii)
What the Box Tells Us: Mario and Luigi drive invisible karts. Mario has an evil grin, like he's about to do something mean to Luigi. Meanwhile Luigi looks like he's going to crap his pants in fear. But really -- this art isn't about the game. This is the first "Mario Kart" in the franchise to not feature a "kart" on the cover. Clearly, it's about the Wii Wheel, which may or may not be better for Mario-karting. (Random thought: Why didn't Nintendo call it the "WiiL" for short?)
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Galactic Civilizations II: Twilight of the Arnor" (PC)
What the Box Tells Us: If the Death Star was made of Lite-Brites, it would look like this (the thing even dons the Empire symbol on the front). Not only does it make me not want to play the game, but it makes me recoil in disgust. "Even the greatest empire must come to an end." Good riddance to bad fonts and magical shining lights...
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Brain Voyage" (DS)
What the Box Tells Us: Before I saw the box art, I imagined a giant brain riding on a Mayflower-type ship. Though the actual cover isn't what I imagined, it turned out to be even better: The giant brain has international landmarks atop of it, such as the Eiffel Tower, the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Statue of Liberty. And there's even a little suitcase hanging on the to letter "E." It's literally a brain embarking on a voyage. Like Krang.
Love It or Leave It: Love it.
"Battle of the Bands" (Wii)
What the Box Tells Us: Forget fake plastic guitars: This time it's war, and apparently this game lets you kill with your six-string... literally. Here I see an angry-looking punk-goth chick about to go medieval on some guy who sort of looks like Flava Flav (it's the clock). Maybe it's like if the "Walk This Way" video had machine guns in it.
Love It or Leave It: Love it.
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Is there a game you’d like us to judge solely by its cover? Let us know.
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