You can't judge a game by its cover art.
Or can you?
New games are released weekly by the boatload, and honestly, we simply don't have time to play them all -- at least not right away. Therefore, a gamer's first -- and last -- impression of a title could very well be the box it came in.
So to help out video game marketing departments and box art designers, we are launching a new, experimental feature, in which we make a snap judgment about a game's artwork -- disregarding gameplay, reviews and even hearsay -- and base our impressions solely on initial appearances (because we're shallow like that).
Here's what I got in the mail recently:
"Viking: Battle For Asgard" (Xbox 360)
What the Box Tells Us: The guy on the box for "Viking" looks like Legolas on steroids. I'd make fun of his long flowing locks, only he looks poised to lop my head off with A) a pointy sword or B) a pointy ax... Or C) both.
Love It or Leave It: Love it.
"Dark Sector" (Xbox 360, PS3)
What the Box Tells Us: The man on this cover has such a pretty face. Such a pretty... WHOA. What's up with his arm? But if past games featuring hot dudes with crusty arms are any indication ("Devil May Cry 4," "God Hand," "Enchanted Arms"), "big ugly arm" is the new hotness.
Love It or Leave It: Love it.
"Condemned 2: Bloodshot" (Xbox 360, PS3)
What the Box Tells Us: I shun contact lenses, and eyeballs gross me out in general (Ever seen Hostel? Yeah). So seeing this wide-open eyeball on the box art made me not want to touch it. Plus, it's called "Condemned 2: Bloodshot," but that peeper looks like it got a dose of Visine to me...
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.
"Universe at War: Earth Assault" (Xbox 360)
What the Box Tells Us: Giant robots try to take over the Earth by shooting lasers at ant-sized people -- it's like my second grade "what-I-did-over-the-summer" essay all over again. Or H.G. Wells' "War of the Worlds." Either way, still awesome.
Love It or Leave It: Love it.
"Naruto Ultimate Ninja 3" (PS2)
What the Box Tells Us: Maybe it's because I'm not a follower of "Naruto" but all these game covers look the same to me -- generous use of orange and blue, other characters in the background, and of course, Naruto front and center. If variety is the spice of life, "Naruto" covers are like salt and pepper.
Love It or Leave It: Leave it.