What We're NOT Playing - Volume 11 (The Bitter-About-'Smash Bros.' Edition)

This week, it's bizarro "What We're NOT Playing."

Why? One, because today is Thursday and not Wednesday (oops!), and two, because when the Big Dog isn't around to bark orders like he usually does (heh heh), the rest of us go a little off-topic.

For instance, one of the games we're not playing is "Super Smash Bros. Brawl," which isn't on the list of new titles out this week. But our resident "Smash Bros." obsessive reminds us (or won't let us forget... ever) how the game was originally scheduled for release on December 4th:

JasonCipriano: this week I'm not playing "Wii Fit" and "Super Smash Bros. Brawl"
JasonMitchell: wtf
JasonMitchell: those games aren't even out
JasonCipriano: AH ... but this week marks what should have been the week "Smash Bros." came out
JasonCipriano: so I'm basically extremely bitter about that
JasonCipriano: and "Wii Fit" is out... and I could be playing it ... if ... ya know, I had a Japanese Wii and was able to import the game ...
TraceyJohn: Because we're obviously including Japanese versions of games in this.
JasonCipriano: you show me where the guidelines are for this
JasonMitchell: well then I'm not playing "Call of Duty 9," "Super Mario Universe," and the Atari 9 million system

Things get even more out of hand when we talk about movie-based games and books we think should be made into games. Buckle up...

[Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images]

JasonCipriano: who's starting?
TraceyJohn: Let's start with Mitch today!
TraceyJohn: What are you not playing this week?
JasonCipriano: I bet he's not playing anything ... except "Call of Duty 4"
JasonCipriano: god that game's good
JasonMitchell: Well it's definitely a slow week... or couple of weeks. and I can honestly say I'm not playing anything that is coming out this week
TraceyJohn: Ok, what specifically? Which one is the one that's dead last?
JasonMitchell: is there anything coming out that anyone is not playing? if not I have an idea for this week -- what terrible game that came out would you actually consider playing?
JasonCipriano: no ... don't ruin my plan ... i actually had stuff lined up for this week
JasonMitchell: well why don't you go first
JasonCipriano: cuz Tracey picked you
TraceyJohn: After you, your majesty.
JasonCipriano: fine fine fine
JasonCipriano: I've got 2
JasonCipriano: coincidentally both by the same company
JasonCipriano: this week I'm not playing "Wii Fit" and "Super Smash Bros. Brawl"
JasonMitchell: wtf
JasonMitchell: those games aren't even out
TraceyJohn: "SSBB" was supposed to be. But that's still cheating.
JasonCipriano: AH ... but this week marks what should have been the week "Smash Bros." came out
JasonCipriano: so I'm basically extremely bitter about that
JasonCipriano: and "Wii Fit" is out... and i could be playing it ... if .. ya know, I had a Japanese Wii and was able to import the game ...
JasonCipriano: like Cheapy D ... or Chris Kohler ... I'd totally be working off my gut right now
TraceyJohn: Because we're obviously including Japanese versions of games in this.
TraceyJohn: I like how everyone's idea for this week is to be off topic.
JasonCipriano: you show me where the guidelines are for this
JasonMitchell: well then i'm not playing "Call of Duty 9," "Super Mario Universe," and the Atari 9 million system
JasonCipriano: HA
JasonCipriano: you're missing the point here ... Japan got what was one of my most anticipated games of the year

JasonCipriano: and we don't even have a release date
TraceyJohn: I get the point
TraceyJohn: You point that out
TraceyJohn: every
TraceyJohn: single
TraceyJohn: day
GeraldFlannory: so go to japan
JasonCipriano: I'd gladly go to japan
JasonCipriano: Multiplayer sending me?
TraceyJohn: Please do. We'll get you a one-way ticket
JasonCipriano: AND I'M OFF....
JasonCipriano: ::woosh::
GeraldFlannory: straight into the sun!
JasonCipriano: land of the rising sun
GeraldFlannory: no I was right the first time, straight into the sun!
JasonCipriano: cute
TraceyJohn: ANYWAY
GeraldFlannory: I really don't know what i'm not playing
GeraldFlannory: that "Golden Compass" game doesn't look like anything special
GeraldFlannory: more movie licensed stuff
GeraldFlannory: I think the best movie licensed games personally were the "Lord of The Rings" games

TraceyJohn: I agree with you on "LOTR," G.
GeraldFlannory: the movie looks cool though
JasonCipriano: it's totally got a cat in it too
GeraldFlannory: and polar bears that talk!
JasonCipriano: and I'm guessing some kind of fancy compass
JasonMitchell: what about "Beowulf"?
GeraldFlannory: awww man
GeraldFlannory: that game
JasonCipriano: isn't that a book or something?
JasonMitchell: no, it's a movie!!
TraceyJohn: "Me Gamer. Me no read Book."
JasonCipriano: wow. and that's from the one in the room that reads the most
GeraldFlannory: "Beowulf"?
GeraldFlannory: it's based off of an old story
GeraldFlannory: and "Golden Compass" is a book too
TraceyJohn: a series of books
TraceyJohn: I was impersonating you, Cip
GeraldFlannory: like "The Lord of the Rings" and "Narnia" joints
JasonMitchell: I'm not even reading what everyone else is saying I'm just saying stuff
JasonCipriano: this brings up an interesting question
JasonCipriano: what if the games were based only on the books? - not on the movies

JasonCipriano: do you think the games may have come out better?
GeraldFlannory: I think they would be pretty tight
JasonCipriano: also - I cant think of any games that are only based on books
GeraldFlannory: that one "Lord of the Rings" game was pretty bad
JasonCipriano: aside from comics, and those don't count
GeraldFlannory: and that was based strictly on the written material
JasonCipriano: which "LOTR" game are you talking about?
GeraldFlannory: "The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring"
GeraldFlannory: it was nowhere near as good as the movie-based games
GeraldFlannory: it dropped the same time the movie game dropped
JasonCipriano: we know movie games are 99% crap

JasonMitchell: movies just have a wider audience. let's face it no one reads anymore
TraceyJohn: "The Lord of the Rings Online" is based on the books,and that game is pretty good
JasonCipriano: but can you think of any book games? aside from "LOTR"
TraceyJohn: Atari's "The Witcher" is also based on books.
JasonCipriano: right ...
TraceyJohn: I believe those books have a huge readership in Europe
JasonCipriano: yeah ...
JasonMitchell: "Jericho" written by author Clive Barker
JasonCipriano: but that game is too adult oriented to have an audience in the states
JasonMitchell: not based on a book but written by someone that like writes them and stuff
GeraldFlannory: yeah
JasonCipriano: doesn't count - needs to be a published book
GeraldFlannory: but look what happened to "Jericho"
GeraldFlannory: no one even remembers that game now
TraceyJohn: Was it the story that sucked though? Or the gameplay?
GeraldFlannory: seemed like both
TraceyJohn: Clive Barker admitted he doesn't play games at all
GeraldFlannory: I guess it showed
GeraldFlannory: I wish kats would do they research for games before they go start writing for it, like they do a movie or something
JasonMitchell: I think it just came out at a time when there are so many other blockbuster fps, that it got overlooked
JasonCipriano: I think we established "Jericho" sucked in a previous WWNP, no?
JasonMitchell: I haven't even played it yet but I did want to, the story sounded pretty tight
JasonMitchell: so again, what books would you guys want to be made into a game???
GeraldFlannory: and craft it in a way where it's not just surface fluff
JasonMitchell: exactly. because games are all about action and fun, books have more substance
GeraldFlannory: gotta step out for a sec
TraceyJohn: I'm not sure any of my favorite books would be good games.
JasonCipriano: ya ever read "Naked Lunch" by William Burroughs
JasonCipriano: I think they made that into a movie though
TraceyJohn: They did
TraceyJohn: "Naked Lunch" would be one f--ked-up AO game...
JasonCipriano: you're missing the point here ... Japan got what was one of my most anticipated games of the year

JasonCipriano: EXACTLY
JasonCipriano: best game ever
JasonCipriano: and you wouldn't get to play it in order either
TraceyJohn: I didn't know you read that book (and could read)
JasonCipriano: I read
JasonCipriano: WHY DON'T PEOPLE THINK I READ
TraceyJohn: I think we mention you not reading in like our first WWNP where we talk about "Super Paper Mario"
JasonCipriano: oh ... right ... I don't think that was in a wwnp .. but I have mentioned before how I hate reading in video games
JasonCiprian: "SPM" had way too many words .... I kept falling asleep playing it
JasonCipriano: but i mean I read books
TraceyJohn: Strategy guides don't count
JasonMitchell: I want to play "Animal Farm." It'd start with an action-packed game where you're the animal of your choice and you start a revolution against the human farmers.
JasonMitchell: then it turns into a "Sims" or "Viva Pinata"-type game where you have to make your farm work
JasonCipriano: "Animal Farm" meets "Viva Pinata" would be great

JasonCipriano: the title "Viva Pinata" might take on a whole different meaning
TraceyJohn: What if you choose to be a pig? Can you become a dictator?
JasonMitchell: that's really the only way to win the game
JasonMitchell: if you're a horse you get killed, if you're the dog you become a soldier, if you're anyone else you slowly become what you were at the beginning
TraceyJohn: I think Orwell is rolling over in his grave.
TraceyJohn: And I really don't know what happened to this WWNP.
JasonMitchell: I don't know what happened to game releases this week.
TraceyJohn: We better wrap this up. Quick picks?
JasonCipriano: "Wii Fit"
JasonCipriano: cuz I could totally be playing it ... but I'm not
JasonCipriano: it's playable
JasonCipriano: just not by me
JasonCipriano: hence .. I'm not playing it!
TraceyJohn: That's super lame. I'm not playing "Godzilla Unleashed" because I'm done with Wii fighting games for the moment.
TraceyJohn: They're almost as abundant as mini-game collections. (I love Godzilla, too.)
TraceyJohn: Mitch?
JasonMitchell: I'm not playing any of the games based on movies because movie games tend to be unpolished
TraceyJohn: Any suggestions for companies making licensed games?
JasonMitchell: don't rely on the license to sell the game, make a good game that is even better because of the license
TraceyJohn: ok, we're done. thanks!
JasonCipriano: NO, THANK YOU!
JasonMitchell: wait, Tracey are you going to play "American Girl: Julie Finds a Way"
TraceyJohn: what?
JasonMitchell: Play as Julie Albright, a 9-year-old living at the time of America's bicentennial, as you follow her adventures from the American Girl: Julie books.
JasonMitchell: her adventures from THE BOOK
JasonCipriano: we get it
JasonCipriano: it's a video game based on a book
JasonCipriano: Mitch gets a gold star
JasonCipriano: ... wait ... make that silver
JasonCipriano: he was too late
JasonMitchell: true
JasonMitchell: but we can move that up like i found it earlier
JasonMitchell: make me look good