What do you do when you find out the person who you’ve been sharing a video game with has been playing that game without you?
When I found out that MTV News copy editor Katie Byrne was having just this issue with “Super Mario Galaxy” and her boyfriend, I asked her to write a piece for the blog.
Did her boyfriend break an unspoken gaming rule? Here’s Katie…
When in a relationship, a lot of times “mine” becomes “ours.”
Sometimes that can be quite convenient, like when “Super Mario Galaxy” was released a couple of weeks ago and instead of paying 50 bucks for it, I only paid 25.
The day my boyfriend, Dan, and I got the game home and unwrapped it, a few decisions had to be made about how we would split our purchase. We decided we’d explore the new “Mario” adventure together under his Mii and take turns playing the different levels. When one of us needed a drink break, the other took over. When the phone rang, the controls were handed off. When a really cool world popped up, we each took a stab at it. When friends came over, we gave them some time with the game. All was going well, and we had amassed 19 stars as a team.
Then Thanksgiving arrived. I headed to my parents’ Wii-free home to feed myself all the turkey and stuffing I could handle instead of feeding star bits to Hungry Lumas. The day after Thanksgiving, I received this picture message on my phone:
Thirty-six stars! Dan had nearly doubled our total. Part of me was happy he was keeping himself busy since the rest of our roommates and most of our friends in the area had gone out of town for the holiday, but the other part of me felt left behind. What had he discovered in the game that I hadn’t seen yet? How far was he from saving the Princess?
“Nice” was all I could muster for a text-message response to the picture. I probably should have written, “WAIT FOR ME!” but I bit my tongue (or sat on my hands, I guess, as far as texting is concerned).
Then the next day, another cell phone message: “So much Mario … over 50 stars.”
Couldn’t he read the underlying message in my previous “nice” response? I mean, come on, if I had been excited about his rapid progression, I would have included an exclamation point or a smiley face, obviously. At this point, I was at a hockey game, so instead of straining a phony response, my next text read, “Red Wings tie it up!”
It was official: My Mario “team” had cut me loose and gone ahead without me. “Fine,” I thought. “I’ll just start a new game with my Mii when I get home and beat the game first!”
No such luck. When I called Dan on Sunday to confirm my airport pickup time, the inevitable had come true. “I beat the game!” he exclaimed. I feigned enthusiasm but was secretly bummed to have missed out on the achievement. It wasn’t the same when he beat “Prince of Persia: Rival Swords” months earlier, because I didn’t have a lifelong connection with that video game like I do with the “Mario” franchise.
But enough of my whining — what am I going to do about it? Well, I’ll start from scratch. The upside to this situation is I have my own personal intergalactic tour guide. There will be no more searching through the guidebook to find how to pull a lever. The truth is, we probably never should have shared a character from the start. A video game is something you need to explore at your own pace, and one person is bound to put in more time than the other.
So, Multiplayer readers, have you ever tag-teamed a game with a significant other, roommate, friend or family member? If so, what happened? And is sharing overrated?
November 28th, 2007 at 9:24 am
My fiance and I have done this with a few games - obvious co-op games like Lego Star Wars and a few times in different MMOs - WOW and FFXI. Lego Star Wars was easy to play together since it was the reason we got it - to have a game we could play together - and we did, beating both the first and second games.
MMOs on the other hand were a different story… I would almost always get ahead of her; my character being higher level or I would be busy doing other things when she would want to group/quest with me.
Sharing isn’t over-rated, it’s really hard sometimes, especially with a story-based game where you really want to advance the story to see what happens, but can’t because the person you are playing with isn’t around. If you make it a goal to finish the game together, you just need to stick with it and have some other games you want to play on the side for when you can play the “main game” together.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:10 am
I’ve got to say, I admire Katie’s cool. If it had been me sharing Galaxy with my fiancé (we’re also both gamers and we often share big-release games) I would’ve sent back some much less civil text messages–probably something along the lines of: “You did what? WHAT?”
November 28th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
I think when you are playing any kind of co-op experience with someone, you have to respect the shared progress and not touch that. If you want to have your own saved game on the side, that’s fine, but you can’t advance the shared game experience you were having without the other person being around.
This is especially true for a game like Mario Galaxy, which is a relatively linear game with finite levels/experiences. It is especially difficult in a game like World of Warcraft, where leveling up your character may mean outpacing your gaming buddy, but is an unavoidable side effect of playing the game. For Mario Galaxy type games, the only right answer is to make a separate save file for solo play, and play that when your game partner isn’t around.
November 28th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
I’ve noticed that often, especially with a significant other who is not necessarily as much of a gamer than you are, playing a game together which you have previously completed often works quite well, as long as you are in general agreement that for puzzles/etc the person who is playing it through on their first time gets to figure them out.
For instance, I have been playing WoW again recently with my girlfriend. Back when it came out I played it heaps, so now that we’re playing it together I feel no real need to advance the new character I’m playing as quickly as possible to experience new content. At the same time, however, it feels like I’m doing many things for the first time, as I am seeing the game from her perspective, where everything we’re doing is new and exciting. (For people who’ve played WoW, I’m level 38 and she’s level 40 - just got her mount, which she has been striving for since she saw me riding one way back in 2005. A huge milestone
)
November 29th, 2007 at 9:27 am
My fiance and myself are huge game buffs, and when we first started going out and playing some MMOs he would get kind of sad because without meaning to I would get ahead of him while we were playing together from any number of small random things. After talking about it we decided to try our best to stay with each other and if I get ahead a bit I give him some free time while I sit so he can kill some mobs and catch up. Most of the time that fixes the problem.
On console games we are good about it we play the game we were playing together only when the other person is around and wanting to play. It takes a bit longer to finish the game that either of us would finish in half the time but its about playing with them that makes that alright for us. Personally I believe it is always more fun to play with them then by myself. On Super Mario Galaxies we both have a different account but in the different accounts we each help each other by being 2nd player and gaining all the star bits. Its alot of fun and the way we do it each of us sees a part of the game we hadn’t seen before so that we each know whats ahead in our own game.
If you want to play with them and you don’t want them to play without you just tell them, its the easiest way to make sure they know and you both can play together on a game you both started. Sharing is a normal part and with some work and understanding you two can play together and have minimal problems!
Also MMOs are great for relationship playing as long as they both realize not to level without the other! Have a friend who plays with his wife and they got to the top levels in WoW together and still go everywhere they can together.
Good luck couples!
November 29th, 2007 at 9:28 am
Seriously, just start over…
To get upset becuase either of you finished the game while the other was away…Grow up!!!!
If you think about it, you would be just as far if you bought by yourself…
November 29th, 2007 at 9:29 am
[…] Katie Byrne writes for the MTV Multiplayer blog about what it’s like to find your partner snea…. The betrayal! The frustration! We were playing Super Mario Galaxy together, dammit!. […]
November 29th, 2007 at 11:35 am
I had a thing where I would only play Gears of War co-op with one particular friend till we beat the game. Even when other friends (better friends, even!) wanted to co-op with me with their own profile, I had to refuse. I didn’t even play it in single player when he wasn’t around.
Same thing with Guitar Hero 2 co-op.
November 29th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
[…] Sharing gameplay between couples. This is an article about a woman who shared a character with her boyfriend. Only to find that he played without her when she went out of town. And how annoyed it made her initially. […]
November 29th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
I feel very fortunate after reading this. I to have been playing super mario galaxy with a signifigant other. She isnt much of a gamer, but she likes to try. When Super Mario Galaxy came out we started a profile together w/my mii. I say im fortunant because she wont even try playing mario when i offer. Shes addicted to starbits and unraveling the story as quick as possible. We take turns reading the chapters out of “Mama’s” story book. Overall its been a good experience. however, i do have to wait for her to come over. that is the most frustrating.
anyways, cute story. i would have smashed him tho when i came home. smashed him good-seriously.
November 29th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
[…] Read the article here […]
November 29th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Kinda your fault, too. You didn’t tell the guy he was doing anything wrong, and he was bored silly and hooked on the game. If you messaged him ‘wait for me’, he would probably have waited, or at least tried to. By not telling himn what was up, he didn’t know he was doing wrong. He just wanted to play games, and he didn’t have any turkey to eat.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
you have a boyfriend, and leave him at home during thanksgiving. Uh, why didn’t he go with you? Especially when you go to a RED WINGS game?
Sounds to me like you brought this on yourself.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
“Sharing” a game experience in that manner is something I’ve done several times with different people. I would agree that “Dan” has indeed committed a party-foul by plowing ahead on the shared file rather than starting a new, personal one if he just *had* to keep playing.
For example, I can easily outpace my wife in World of Warcraft. Anytime we create characters together, I make a point to only play that character when she is online to play with me. It’s not any hassle for me to create an additional character that I can play on my own, and it ensures that she never feels left out. (For the record, her main is now 61 and counting.)
Or a more directly-related example: When I got Resident Evil 4 on the GameCube, my best friend sat in with me whenever I played. Even though I was the only one at the controls, we shared the experience, we discussed strategies and made decisions together. He didn’t have to ask me to wait when he wasn’t able to be there; I just knew better. It would have been a betrayal for me to continue without him. Yes, I know, it’s just a game and a lot of people would never take it so seriously. But it’s like refusing to pause a movie when your friend needs to use the bathroom. Thinking of other people is just good manners.
That said, what’s done is done. In Katie’s position, I’d express my disappointment to avoid similar conflicts in the future (couples who communicate stay together) and I’d start a new file of my own. After all, you’ve only got 19 stars between you and your previous game. There’s a lot more Mario to be had in Galaxy.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Just have two save files and play throught he game yourself..or you will miss palying some levels…that’s retarded.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Your boyfriend is a douche for that. Show him the Door, and I don’t mean Paper Mario 2. Ok, maybe that’d be a bit too extreme, but you just don’t do this kind of a thing. You start it together, you finish it together, if both parties clearly want to experience the adventure (as here). I’d understand this if you’d just want to spend an hour or two testing a videogame with a partner, but as you both poured money in it and made arrangements to play together, he made a very bad call. I suggest you delete his game and Mii (or rename it “douche”), and THEN tell him how disappointed you are in his traitor ways.
November 29th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
[…] Read Katie’s Blog HERE […]
November 29th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
It’s a video game. If this is the worst thing that has ever happened in your relationship, you are one lucky @~?~#.
November 29th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I actually just had the same experience. My fiancee is a new gamer, in so far as shes always loved playing games but never really played them herself until recently.
The week mario galaxy came out I bought mario, umbrella chronicles, and zack and wiki. She decided she wanted to play all of them together. That made me smile, but simultaneously, its a little frustrating that i couldnt play any of the three games unless shes around. We came to an agreement that i could have mario on my own but only if i didnt advance the story without her.
It worked out wonderfully cause when id get to a cutscene, id turn it off, and wait for her. We read the storybook together, which she loved, and i showed her the ending. She loved playing co-op when we had the chance but she didnt really mind that id play it more when i got home.
There was one other point that wasnt adressed in a lot of responses, and that is the whole 1st time problem. With my fiancee, having my own save file really isnt an option as she feels like if ive already seen it its less special. She wants us both to experience it simultaneously. Which is only a problem when the value she gives to that experience is akin to cheating. As in, im cheating if i play a game without her.
and thats not really fair if that claim gets spread across EVERY game.
November 29th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
[…] “yours” how do you go about sharing the gameplay? MTV copy editor Katie Byrne has been thinking about this exact same problem, specifically with reference to her and her boyfriend’s shared save file on Super Mario […]
November 29th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
i recently just got out of a relationship with a girl who said she was a gamer… but really all that ment is she would play some of my games. a pieve of mine is when a friend comes round and sets up a save game on my mechine and then blazes past the point where i was while im sitting there. and just keeps going. im a casual gamer. i like to play for a bit and then put it down and pick it up later. take it in small doses. alot of doses but small ones. so im sitting next to these people watching them do all the bits that ive done and then continue on. far past my last point. i dont want to have to do all that #@$% again. ive just watched it. and thus the game dies to me usually.
loco roco. i got that as a birthday gift. before i had even had a shot on it my girlfriend got a hold of it and finished it in one sitting ¬¬ i had no care to play that game.
same with zelda, paper mario and a few other ps2 games.
just kills them
so it broke down to “you can play some games. but not this one or this one or this one. because so far i still care about those ones.”
but as we split up for unrelated reasons this has become less of an issue. she still comes over and plays them though…
November 29th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
I played Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance 2 with my brother. It was really great because once you start a two player campaign you both have to play unless you want to start a whole new one. So for about a month me and my brother would get together in the evening to play the game. It was a real sharing exercise in team work and we played right through to the end together.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
Mario has something like 9 save game slots. There’s no excuse for not playing your own.
November 30th, 2007 at 7:54 am
[…] MTV Multiplayer has a nice story of one its female employees playing Mario Galaxy in turns with her boyfriend. But what happens when she leaves town though? MTV Multiplayer […]
November 30th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Okay, I agree he shouldn’t have done that, but reading back through some of these comments, letting games get in the way of a relationship is silly. Come on, people…
December 1st, 2007 at 4:13 pm
I’m super jealous that you got to see the Wings game, Katie! Glad that you’re representing the michigander contingent though.
December 2nd, 2007 at 11:43 pm
[…] Apparently, this situation came up with one of MTV News staff when she left town for Thanksgiving and left her boyfriend with Super Mario Ga…. […]
December 5th, 2007 at 8:29 am
Well me and my husband bought the game and played it together, but hes a gentleman and let me be the main control and her would collect the jems and the hold back the enemies!!! When it got hard i would give it for him to ahve a go or when there was a commet as it was in the same level he would do it. He has started his own one for when im away. When we completed it it was the best! as we both celebrated and danced around!!!!
So its possible!!! and in a way im lucky Dave really good at letting me play
…u kinda just ahve to be honest as to who’s game it really is for spliting it in two is impossible!!!!
December 18th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
There’s such a huge differential in the skill levels between me and my girlfriend that we can never really play a game together. Halo or Prince of Persia for instance. Not that I’m always better mind you, for instance I don’t even bother to play Fatal Frame or Silent Hill or Resident Evil anymore, I just let her go and concentrate on keeping her fed and watered. I’ll do Mario or Link occasionally but it’s best to let her take charge of those franchises as well.
April 29th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Tera…
One should guard against preaching to young people success in the customary form as the main aim in life. The most important motive for work in school and in life is pleasure in work, pleasure in its result and the knowledge of the value of the result …
May 8th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Jack…
I think you are absolutely on track here!…