Thanks to Rockstar Games, I can exercise my youthful exuberance and exhibit many, many antisocial tendencies with this, the inflatable tchotchke of the year (this second). It's meant to promote the upcoming Bully, the controversial school simulator that's had Mr. Jack Thompson in a tizzy for these past many moons.
Sadly, Rockstar thought not to include an actual copy of Bully with its tchotchke. This does not bode well, I think.
But I'm still looking forward -- very much so -- to sticking it to the Man. Try and teach me you good English would you?
Now if only I had a pin and an air pump.
(If you can't tell what, exactly, you're looking at, it's an uninflated dodgeball, commonly used as a projectile for pummeling nerds. Trust me on this one.)
Today's endeavor? Putting pen caps on pens as done by the PSP's WTF: Work Time Fun.
Putting pen caps on pens is about as dull a chore as I've ever performed in a videogame. The kicker is that the game doesn't penalize you for putting the pen caps on incorrectly, nor does it ever cut the proceedings short. Or ever. You can put pen caps on pens forever, if you so choose. With an infinite electrical supply, and an infinite number of hands, you could, conceivably, put pen caps on pens for an infinite length of time.
I stopped caring about life after 50 pen caps.
I really, really like the part where the creepy little girl calls the diving helmet-wearing behemoth "Mr. Bubbles..."
And Bioshock is going to rock your face off. Take a look at this video which represents, more or less, what 2K- and Irrational Games showed for the game's triumphant E3 debut last May.
After a most confused series of reports emanating from Tokyo, it seems the news is indeed true. The PlayStation 3 has seen its first price reduction. In Japan.
The announcement was made by Sony yesterday at the Tokyo Game Show: The Japanese 20GB PlayStation 3 will sell for 49,980 yen, or roughly $430 dollars. The 20GB PlayStation 3 is, of course, the lower end model...
"The Japanese users and media would not stop saying a price tag of over 60,000 yen, including tax, was too expensive," Sony President Ken Kutaragi said.
And to Sony, the plucky United States of America raises its middle finger.
The new Ubisoft-published Star Wars game, slated to release for the PSP, is called Lethal Alliance.
Lethal Alliance was unceremoniously unveiled after an Ubisoft FTP site holding press assets was discovered and plundered. Videos for the game may, at least temporarily, be found here.
Oh, and supposedly a certain character from certain Star Wars games whose name begins with a K and whose last name also begins with a K will be included in Alliance.
Game developer/publisher Ubisoft was caught with its pantaloons down recently, as forum posters on the Internet message board NeoGaf.com gained access to an FTP site where Ubisoft stored press materials for its upcoming titles.
Ubisoft, apparently, has plans for a Rocky PSP title, Splinter Cell 5 (called Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction), a Star Wars game, and a Far Cry title for the Wii.
Realizing its security lapse, Ubisoft removed the files. But not before they were downloaded en masse.
Concept art for Conviction:
Roughly one year after the launch of the Xbox 360, Microsoft has announced the creation of a platinum line of videogames that will clock in at a healthy, but certainly reduced, $29.99 pricetag.
The first batch of platinum games includes Perfect Dark Zero, Kameo: Elements of Power, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, and Project Gotham Racing 3.
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Nintendo is all fired up to sell its new Wii console to the non-gaming masses that it threw a party for a blog-writing California mom.
Mom was handpicked by Nintendo to play host, and the company brought over Wiis and food so she could throw a party for her friends and her kids' friends. As mom says, "Hmmm, let's see if I can recall some of the perks...
"Free shirts
"Enough food from our favorite Mexican Restaurant to feed a small country (did I mention beer and wine?)
"The ability to really impress our friends
"Family bonding
"Getting [SIC] witness people getting their 'game on'
"Letting our daughter and her friends go nuts (who now think blogging is the portal to all things good)
"Our thank you gifts (Can you say DS lites & games? I'll bet your kids can!)
"Playing games that no one else has played yet, 'neener, neener, neener!' (as my Uncle put it)
"Party Favors
"To have a phenomenal group of strangers come in, set up a full-blown, all expenses paid, totally amazing party at our house and then CLEAN it all up for us.
"Left overs (in both the food and the alcohol department)"
I'm not sure when I became saddled with the twin albatrosses "humanity" and "a conscience." And I'll be damned when I began to feel pangs of�how do you say it in your Earth language?�common decency.
I got an invitation via e-mail a little while ago. It's for some game-related event to be held sometime in October. The invite itself isn't very notable; I get plenty of them in a given week. As it's my job, I RSVP for them, attend them, and then run, oftentimes for my life.
What's notable is this little snippet that was included, almost as an afterthought. I am reprinting it verbatim here:
"Plus, our gift bags will be filled with hundreds of dollars worth of product! Please feel free to bring your fellow colleagues as well, simply RSVP with me." (The emphasis, of course, is purely mine.)
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Depending on who you talk to, today may either be Talk Like a Pirate Day or not. But one thing's for sure: I don't think we'll ever forget the time that young rapscallion Bart won himself an elephant from KBBL's "KBBL's Going to Give Me Something Stupid" promotion.
Anyway, to honor this momentous occasion, which may or may not be taking place right now, I thought to recall some of the recent, and scurvy, pirate-themed games I played�in the colorful vernacular of a buccaneer.
Pirates of the Caribbean (Xbox, PC) � A fetid load. Yar!
Pirates: Legend of Black Kat (Xbox, PlayStation 2) � More like Pirates: Legend of the Sucky Game, ye mateys.
and ...
One Piece: Pirates' Carnival (PlayStation 2) � It's one piece, all right. Um. Yo ho.
